Money Down The Crapper


Something is wrong in the once rosy city. The Francis Council sought and won approval, although no surprise, for a plan called a budget, to do a few things around the city. Some things are needed, while others are pure fantasy.

One of the most egregious is to spend $400,000 to build a new, as opposed to an old, washroom at Elizabeth Kishkon Park, and an equal amount for an accessible washroom at Riverside Park. Knowing how well the city’s administration is at budgeting, and considering the new Mill Street library in Sandwich came in at double the estimate when the matter was sent to tender, there is reasonable grounds for moderate people to suggest that the cost could run toward the $1.6 million mark.

That would seem about right, although, there is some pretty fancy imagining going on, down at a few watering holes, about what million dollar washrooms look like in a small city where a whole house, average prices of course, could be had for a meagre $218,034.

This is the price of an entire house.

A washroom which costs twice as much probably has a large staff of washroom attendants so there would be a need for a lot of rooms apart from the washroom. Either that, or to keep prices down, the city plans to corner the market on toilet paper and buy, possibly, a ten year’s supply at the most expensive paper purveyors.

Little is known about these high cost washrooms, so this is where the dreamers get to dream big.

Is it possible that Windsor is turning the corner and, rather than concentrate on being behind the times, like using old technology at its water park or at Bright Lights, will now try to jump ahead, magically and mysteriously, and create drive-in washrooms.

You see, such marvels of the modern times could be quite the expensive endeavour, and could justify the cost. Why there’d be need for road allowances, space for waiting cars to park, and amenities like special drive in washroom road signs, which would probably put a big dent in the budget.

But, what it really comes down to, is the city staking ground on the world map with the globe’s first drive in washrooms.

It has been decades, six actually, since the Exchange National Bank of Chicago, on that wondrous days November 12, 1946, introduced the first drive-in bank. Drive-in washrooms could really put Windsor on the world stage.

Maybe ABC’s late night talk show host, Jimmy Kimmel, will call interim mayor Drew Dilkens and have him as a guest. There hasn’t been that much fun in TV land since the late Toronto mayor Rob Ford turned up on the big show.


About the Author

Ian Shalapata
Ian writes for and provides imagery to Square Media Group as well as accepting freelance photographic assignments. In addition, he has contributed to media organizations, sporting groups, and individuals across North America including the Fort Wayne News-Sentinel, Chatham-Kent Sports Network, the Golf Association of Michigan, League 1 Ontario, as well as numerous colleges and universities in Canada and the United States. Email Ian Shalapata